Safe Connectivity Tips for Domestic Violence Victims

If you are a victim of domestic violence, it’s possible your abuser has used technology to control you — and may still be doing so even if you’ve left the relationship. Technology-facilitated abuse can include account compromise and surveillance, harassment on calls/texts/social media, image-based abuse (including AI-generated sexual images), location tracking via apps or Bluetooth trackers, and misuse of smart-home and connected-car features. Recent national and service data show these behaviors are common in partner abuse contexts: see overviews from the Australian Institute of Criminology, the eSafety Commissioner (Australia), the UK’s Revenge Porn Helpline and ONS, and U.S. program snapshots from NNEDV’s Safety Net.

According to “Tech Abuse: Information From the Field,” a 2018 survey by the National Network to End Domestic Violence (NNEDV), “technology misuse is often intertwined with other forms of abuse survivors are facing in their daily life.” Since then, newer population and service indicators have strengthened the picture: national surveys in Australia find roughly one in three adults have experienced technology‑facilitated abuse and about one in five in the past 12 months, with higher rates among women and younger adults; among those who experienced partner violence, a majority also report partner‑perpetrated tech abuse such as monitoring, account compromise, or location tracking (AIC; eSafety). UK helpline and police records show sustained increases in image‑based abuse and sextortion, often involving current or former partners (Revenge Porn Helpline; ONS). U.S. domestic violence programs similarly report that technology misuse—harassment, doxxing, account compromise, GPS tracking, stalkerware, and smart‑home interference—is routinely addressed in safety planning (NNEDV Safety Net).

That same survey showed that only 13% of domestic violence advocates feel totally confident that they have the skills to help victims and survivors with their concerns and challenges involving technology. Recent program snapshots echo the need for ongoing training, tools, and survivor‑centered tech guidance; advocates frequently rely on resources from NNEDV Safety Net to address stalkerware, account security, image‑based abuse, and connected‑device misuse.

If you are in immediate danger, please call 911, but if you are experiencing domestic violence and seeking help, resources or information, confidential trained advocates are available 24/7/365 at no cost through the National Domestic Violence Hotline. You can also text START to 88788 or chat at thehotline.org (English/Spanish; interpretation available).

The list of potential abuses you need to manage as a victim is already lengthy and overwhelming, from financial to emotional to physical. But as statistics show steady year-over-year growth in the number of connected homes, with no end to this trend in sight, ensuring you understand how technology can be used — both against you and to your benefit — is important. New policies and labels are raising the security floor for connected devices, including the UK’s PSTI regime (no default passwords, vulnerability disclosure, update transparency) (learn more) and the U.S. Cyber Trust Mark program ramping in 2025.

Identify and Understand the Technology Around You

If you’re living with your abuser, or still in a relationship with them in some way, the first step is to take an inventory of what smart technology devices are in your home. Abusers can use internet-, home network-, WiFi-, or Bluetooth-connected speakers, cameras, locks, doorbells and more to harass, stalk, harm and otherwise attempt to control your movements and activities. Connected vehicles, wearables, and shared “find my” or family-location features are also commonly misused. Both iOS and Android now include cross‑platform alerts for unknown Bluetooth trackers under the Apple/Google industry specification (see details).

They can also use smart toys and items designed to increase children’s safety, such as baby monitors, in invasive ways. NNEDV notes that some toys “come equipped with cameras, microphones, and speakers so the toys can interact with the child,” but most of these toys are not built with strong security protections and may give “unauthorized video or audio access … [that] could be used to stalk, control or harass a survivor.”

Make a list of all the devices you can find in your home and identify who installed them and who has access to the device’s account or app. Some tech is easily visible; other tech, such as motion sensors tucked on book shelves or in room corners, may be less obvious. If you are unsure what devices are currently active in your home, or are concerned some might be hidden, NNEDV has put together a detailed list of gadgets to look for, along with potential tactics abusers may attempt. Where relevant, look for unknown Bluetooth trackers (phones can surface alerts), review connected‑car companion apps for shared keys/profiles, disable telematics/location sharing you don’t need, and audit account access/logs for vehicles and wearables (see broader trends from eSafety and NNEDV Safety Net).

A few common household devices the NNEDV includes on its list:

Thermostat
Smoke detectors
Video doorbells
Entertainment systems
Smart lightbulbs
Appliances

NNEDV also suggests understanding the Wi-Fi you use and checking that Wi-Fi network history to see what devices are or have been connected. However, it also suggests you don’t simply delete the whole history because that may give your abuser a heads up that you’re looking into these issues. Where safe, harden your network: place smart devices on a separate SSID/guest network, change the router admin password, enable automatic updates, and disable unneeded services like UPnP (NCSC guidance; NISTIR 8425).

Don’t simply delete your whole browsing history because that may give your abuser a heads up that you’re looking into these issues.
National Network to End Domestic Violence (NNEDV)

Once you’ve identified what’s being used in your home, educate yourself about how the devices work, how they’re being used and what information they might be tracking. And if you use technology like Google Home, Alexa, and Siri, there are ways you can opt out of the tracking features that come with them. Also figure out how to spot changes in the tech — whether it’s a device that begins working differently or a new device that appears in your home — and use built‑in safety tools like Apple’s Safety Check to reset sharing and account access if needed. Cross‑platform alerts for unknown Bluetooth trackers can also help identify covert trackers near you (Apple/Google spec).

And recognize that what’s going on around you in your home may be happening specifically because your abuser is controlling this kind of tech. Graciela Rodriguez, who runs an emergency shelter at the Center for Domestic Peace in San Rafael, California, spoke with The New York Times about what she’s been hearing more recently from those accessing the shelter’s services. She told the New York Times that “some people had recently come in with tales of ‘the crazy-making things’ like thermostats suddenly kicking up to 100 degrees or smart speakers turning on blasting music. They feel like they’re losing control of their home. After they spend a few days here, they realize they were being abused.”

“Technology, in its various forms, offers essential tools victims can use to access help, strategically maintain safety and privacy, and remain connected to family and friends. It can also be used to prove guilt and hold offenders accountable.”
NNEDV’s Safety Net Project

Use Tech to Your Benefit

While it may feel like smart tech is more of a negative than a positive, “technology, in its various forms,” states the NNEDV’s Safety Net Project, “offers essential tools victims can use to access help, strategically maintain safety and privacy, and remain connected to family and friends. It can also be used to prove guilt and hold offenders accountable.” Practical steps include using a safer device for planning if your phone or computer might be monitored (EFF guidance), enabling strong authentication on accounts, and documenting tech‑facilitated abuse. If you are targeted with image‑based abuse, AI‑generated “deepfakes,” or sextortion, save evidence (screenshots/URLs), report to platforms, do not pay extortion demands, and seek help; recent laws and enforcement actions are expanding protections (e.g., new UK offenses covering intimate image abuse including deepfakes in 2024, and the U.S. FCC’s action against AI‑voice robocalls 2024). The FBI’s Internet Crime Report 2023 also highlights the rise and impact of sextortion.

Keeping a technology abuse log is one suggestion NNEDV makes to all victims because as the organization says, this type of detailed documentation can:

Give you a record of what is happening, which may be helpful if you want to pursue legal actions. Include dates/times, screenshots or photos of device changes/notifications, platform usernames/URLs, and any access logs available.
Alert you to any escalation in monitoring and control, which may indicate the danger is increasing as well. Track incidents across modalities (calls/texts, social media, account access alerts, unknown trackers, connected‑car notifications) to spot patterns.
Help you see patterns of the technology abuse and may help determine how the abuser is misusing a particular technology.While The New York Times reports that lawyers are “wrangling with how to add language to restraining orders to cover smart home technology,” many jurisdictions now expressly allow courts to prohibit remote control or surveillance via connected devices and trackers. For example, New York’s Family Court Act § 842 and Criminal Procedure Law § 530.12 authorize orders to bar remote control of “connected devices” affecting a victim’s home, vehicle, or property (FCA § 842; CPL § 530.12), and Washington’s RCW 7.105 defines coercive control to include technology‑facilitated monitoring.

While The New York Times reports lawyers are “wrangling with how to add language to restraining orders to cover smart home technology,” it also reports that “advocates are beginning to educate emergency responders that when people get restraining orders, they need to ask the judge to include all smart home device accounts known and unknown to victims.” Since then, courts and legislatures have expanded tools to address tech abuse: New York explicitly covers “connected devices” in protection orders (FCA § 842; CPL § 530.12), Washington modernized protection orders and embedded technology‑facilitated coercive control (RCW 7.105), and more states recognize coercive control in domestic abuse laws (NCSL 2024). UK guidance on controlling or coercive behaviour similarly highlights smart devices and spyware as tools of abuse (Home Office guidance).

If you suspect your abuser may have bugged your phone or installed tracking software, restore the device to factory settings and create a new strong password.

Secure Your Home

When you’ve ended an abusive relationship, it may feel tempting to just unplug and toss everything. But typically there are ways to save and reuse the tech to your benefit. For instance, don’t dump your mobile phone because this may cause you to become isolated from those family and friends who can offer support, as well as cut you off from emergency services. Do, however, separate any combined phone plans you have with your abuser, especially if you’re going to add mobile-app-based security. And if you suspect your abuser may have bugged your phone or installed tracking software, restore the device to factory settings and create a new strong password. Consider using a safer device for planning if compromise is suspected (EFF), run Apple’s Safety Check or Android equivalents to reset sharing and access, enable multi‑factor authentication or passkeys on critical accounts, and review which devices and apps have access to your car’s telematics or smart‑home hubs.

If you’re still living in the home, but the abuser has left, you’ll want to take steps to secure your space. The abuser may still be connected remotely and still using smart devices to intimidate or control you. In this case, other actions to consider taking include:

Changing your passwords (and consider using a password manager to generate strong passwords in case your abuser has at one time had access to your passwords)
Changing router or network settings
Disabling the devices by using reset buttons
Contacting the device manufacturers and asking them to change account ownership and access
Using two-factor authentication when resetting device apps

Incorporate Smart Technology Into Your Home and Life

If you’re out of the abusive situation and in control of your own home, individual connected devices can be a wise choice for security. Video doorbells with high-resolution cameras and wide fields of vision let you easily see who’s at or near your door, offering extra security when both expected and unexpected individuals arrive at your home. Newer models add on‑device person/vehicle detection and radar‑enhanced motion to improve alert precision and reduce false notifications (e.g., Ring’s 3D Motion Detection and Bird’s Eye View) (learn more).

Smart locks can be connected to smart lights, so you can illuminate your home before you step inside. Some smart locks come with built-in alarms that go off when there is a forced entry. If you’re concerned you forgot to lock your door before leaving, apps allow you to check in and secure your home remotely. Recent platforms also support hands‑free, proximity‑based unlocking with secure mobile keys and improved guest management for time‑limited codes (iOS 18: UWB home keys and Guest Access). These features can make it easier to revoke access quickly and see who has keys without sharing physical copies.

Full home security systems with intrusion sensors, surveillance videos and safety monitoring capabilities are also an option, as are DIY security systems. Both can offer advanced home automation features, and voice assistant compatibility is becoming more and more standard. Interoperability improvements like Matter 1.4 and Thread help different brands work locally and reliably together—useful if you need to transfer devices or reduce cloud dependency. If you use professional monitoring, ask about AVS‑01 alarm validation to reduce false dispatches (TMA‑AVS‑01). When buying new devices, prefer products aligned with the UK PSTI requirements (guidance) or the U.S. Cyber Trust Mark labeling as it becomes available.

All of the above can help offer some peace of mind, whether your abuser is completely out of the picture or still in contact in some way.

Know You’re Not Alone

According to the U.S. Department of Justice’s Bureau of Justice Statistics, intimate partner contact sexual violence, and/or intimate partner stalking, and intimate partner violence accounts for 15% of all violent victimizations. Newer indicators show technology is frequently part of abuse: recent Australian national surveys report one‑third of adults have experienced technology‑facilitated abuse and around one‑fifth in the past year, with most survivors of partner violence also reporting partner‑perpetrated tech abuse (AIC; eSafety). UK helpline and police data show rising image‑based abuse and sextortion, with many cases involving current or former partners (Revenge Porn Helpline; ONS). U.S. programs report very high proportions of survivors experiencing harassment, account compromise, tracking, stalkerware, and smart‑home interference (NNEDV Safety Net). If you need support, 24/7 confidential help is available from the National Domestic Violence Hotline; youth can also contact love is respect, Indigenous survivors can reach the StrongHearts Native Helpline, and Deaf/HH survivors can reach The Deaf Hotline. For local victim services and compensation programs, see the OVC directory, and for pet‑inclusive options, visit Safe Place for Pets.

If you are one of those individuals, one additional tech-related safety resource you might want to access is NNEDV’s Tech Safety app, available in English and Spanish, which helps “identify technology-facilitated harassment, stalking or abuse,” and offers tips on what to do in six categories: harassment, impersonation, cellphone safety, device safety, location safety and online safety. Within each category, the app shares “specific explanations on what someone can do if they are being harassed, as well as privacy tips that can be used to increase privacy and security.” While NNEDV clearly states the information the app shares is not meant to be a comprehensive safety plan, it does provide resources on where to call for help and how to document abuse, work with a domestic violence advocate, contact the police, and find an attorney. Evidence on “safety apps” varies by type: educational/guidance tools like NNEDV’s are low‑risk information hubs; decision‑aid tools such as myPlan have peer‑reviewed evidence of improving safety planning; covert “panic” or “spyware‑detection” apps can increase risk if a device is compromised. Use these resources from a safer device and pair them with OS safety controls like Safety Check and expert guidance from NNEDV and the EFF.

Whether you are currently in a violent relationship or a survivor of domestic violence, you may feel alone, but you are not. And there are many ways to once again feel safe and secure in your own home.

If You Are In Danger

If you are in immediate danger, please call 911, but if you are experiencing domestic violence and seeking help, resources or information, confidential trained advocates are available 24/7/365 at no cost through the National Domestic Violence Hotline. Call them at 1-800-799-7233 (1-800-787-3224 for TTY) or, if you are certain that your computer or mobile phone is not being monitored by your abuser or a third-party, chat with an advocate through the NDVH website. You can also text START to 88788. Services are available in English and Spanish with interpretation in many languages.